How Are Your Expectations?

Are you putting unnecessary pressure on your kids? Do you have unrealistic expectations? Take a minute and think about those questions. As homeschooling parents, there are times when we push so much on our kids because we fear they may be missing out on something. We fear that they may not keeping up with their peers. We may question if they are where they should be so we start expecting perfection in their work.

Now, let’s take a step back and talk about these fears listed. When we homeschool, we tailor the program to our children. It shouldn’t be tailored to keep up with their traditional school friends, or other homeschool families. I’ve seen families be consumed with where everybody else’s children are academically, that they push their children to the point that is counterproductive and beyond that child’s current ability. Comparing can be a dangerous game when it comes to homeschooling our children. We need to make sure we are making decisions for our kids based solely on their strengths, weaknesses, abilities, and what’s best for them.

I’ve also seen families push their kids beyond what’s healthy because they are afraid that their kids will miss out. They pack their daily schedule with academics, and extracurriculars, one after another. Not that those things are bad, but when it forces your children to keep up at a pace that is beyond their ability, and leaves no time for downtime, it can be very counterproductive and draining for your children. If they are now drained, how will they be able to complete their school work effectively and efficiently?

There was a family I knew who was new to homeschooling, and they had their child enrolled in at least 7 different extracurricular activities, aside from her academics. Whenever I saw her, she would be complaining about having to go to her next activity. Now, when that girl had an ounce of free time, it was as if she was a new child with a special new light that beamed from her. She longed for that down time and she needed it!

 When we have our kids running from one thing to the next, it leaves them with little time to relax and decompress, which their little minds need. All of these extra activities are great, but in moderation. Remember, your kids first and foremost need just pure, quality time with you.

Lastly, let’s talk about expecting perfection. We all know that not one of us are perfect, so we shouldn’t expect our children’s work to be perfect all the time. They’re going to make mistakes. It’s all part of learning and we need to give them a safe space to make those errors without us criticizing every little imperfection. When we expect perfection all the time, it will instill a fear of failure in our kids. When they have this fear of failure, they are not going to want to take risks and try something new now and later in life. They will always have in the back of their mind “what if I mess up“ Or “what if I fail”.  Let’s remember to remind our kids that mistakes are opportunities to try again and/or try it different.

Parents, it’s no doubt that homeschooling comes with its challenges, but it also comes with incredible blessings. In one way or another, we have all been guilty of having some type of fear throughout our homeschool journey. Remember your “why“ for homeschooling, and remember that we are all imperfect beings, including our children. Be there for them through their ups and downs, successes and mistakes, because every mistake is a learning opportunity! Welcome the mistakes!